I know! They are late! What can I say: Monday was a crazy, messed-up time. Also, your comments were all too painfully amazing, and it was difficult to choose but three amongst their glory.
I have made my choice, however! Behold, these nigh-supernaturally amusing (and enlightening!) comments.
Amanda handily achieves the impossible in ADVICE! FOR DELETED COMMENTERS:
To this, I can say only: thank you. Thank you all. In order to express my appreciation, I will take you out to a movie! Cub (extra shout-out! This is getting crazy, I know) suggests this one:I have made my choice, however! Behold, these nigh-supernaturally amusing (and enlightening!) comments.
Amanda handily achieves the impossible in ADVICE! FOR DELETED COMMENTERS:
I'd love to see someone who can accomplish the feat of "slightly over exaggerating" rape. What do you say, "He raped me, and then, he forced me to watch Seth Rogen raping a lady in a hilarious bro comedy! Oh, fine, you got me. ALL HE DID WAS RAPE ME."Regina comments in a very mature and sober manner on historical issues, in Adventures in Comparative Literature:
Between whose glories there my lips I'll lay,And finally, Ashley, who provides a truly epic explanation of all things TOM in ADVICE! FOR DELETED COMMENTERS:
Ravish'd in that fair via lactea.
I see the motorboat existed even before the invention of the motorboat.
Much worse things happen every day and much worse things are put into movies every day, and sitting here troubling yourself with a fictional rape will not solve anything.
Mmm, yes. I also get irritated whenever people, particularly people of the lady persuasion, trouble themselves with things that are not The Worst Thing In The World(TM).
The Worst Thing In The World(TM) is carefully selected by TOM and some other very rational and non-hysterical people on a daily basis, according to an algorithm that considers every aspect of everything, scientifically determining with pinpoint accuracy the single most horrific expression of man's inhumanity to man currently in progress.
Today's worst thing in the world was women who exaggerate.
As we all know, the best response to any suffering that is not The Worst Thing In The World(TM) is total apathy. This is, in fact, the responsible (and ethical!) response to pain, be it your own or that of others.
TOM, you have won my heart with your reasonableness and ability to take a joke. I can only hope that you will not be too afraid to make totally willing and not at all creepy sweet sweet love to me when we finally meet.
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Hey, Chai - Just wanted to clear up the fact that the commenter quoted above is responding, sarcastically, to ANOTHER commenter, who came in here with his "you're all getting upset about the wrong things" business. Your anger belongs to TOM, not Ashley.
ReplyDeleteI thought I was responding to TOM! Sorry that wasn't clear in my comment!
ReplyDeleteAshley rocks the house. She said it better than I could, though that didn't stop me from sticking my two cents in.