Tuesday, May 26, 2009

And Now: The Agony of COMMENTS OF THE WEEK!

Good evening! Do you remember last week, by chance? Last week, when I was all, "oh, my boyfriend is moving in, with me, so I may not be able to blog much, but I will certainly try to blog, and also next week will do far more blogging?" 

Yes. Well. About that. 

You see, friends, I don't know how you like to move in with your special someone, but what I like to do is get all of the boxes into the house, unpack a bit, and then contract THE DEADLY SWINE FLU. Which is pretty much exactly what I did. I was like, "yay, moving accomplished, I'm so exciteeeeurgh." Then I lost consciousness. 

Anyway! I am awake now! And have chosen COMMENTS. Here they are! 

Professional misogyny consultant snobographer demonstrates how one might best consult extra misogyny for screen phenomenon Sex & the City: 

I don't know, Sady. I don't remember any rape jokes in Sex and the City. Nothing misogynies-up a joint like some rape jokes. You could also easily throw in a scene where Charlotte and Amanda or whoever have an actual physical fight over a pair of Manalos (sp?) and/or some dude.

True enough! Other professional misogyny consultant Ashley takes it one glorious step further: 

I don't know... Sex and the City does seem to value human intimacy and female friendship. This is a problem for me, as a misogyny consultant. Love cannot be tolerated! What if we replaced Carrie with a bro, perhaps a bro played by Paul Rudd? He could write about how demanding and unreasonable the other three women are for wanting men to be nice to them. Instead of Carrie's usual column-starting questions, which are impressively vapid but usually lack the kind of misogynistic "punch" I'm looking for, he could start out the episode pondering questions like, "Are women crazy, or just bitchez?"

If we could throw in some jello wrestling and exploding cars, I think we've got ourselves a show.
This show gets progressively better! Actually, I plan to replace all four of the women with Paul Rudd ("Cary"), Jason Segel ("Sam"), Jonah Hill ("Charlotte, But a Dude Version") and Seth Rogen ("Um, Mirando?"). Chris Noth will play some blonde woman who is in all of those movies but whose name I can never remember ("Elizabeth Banks"). 

Finally, metaphor consultant Jess unpacks everything that is wrong with that one Gawker post about how TV is like your wife getting all raped so that she is now worthless, or something. Some of what is wrong with it will surprise you! 
Wow, so the dad just hopes that she makes it to the end of the aisle and the groom doesn't reject her? He doesn't worry about getting her to a hospital to treat the injuries? The dad's reaction is so inappropriate to the scenario that it should have been clear to Cajun Boy that it's a forced metaphor. I.e. it really doesn't represent what he's talking about, which is making a TV show. And then maybe that should have spurred him to think... "hey, does this metaphor totally trivialize rape?!? Oh my, it does! Maybe I should come up with a different metaphor!!"
Thank you! Congratulations! Etc! I hope that you all leave many more comments. Also, that none of you contract THE DEADLY SWINE FLU. Also, that I maintain consciousness long enough to write blog posts for you to comment on. I know! I'm a dreamer! But I'm not the only zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

5 comments:

  1. Yay! I made the cut!
    Boo! Sady's sick!

    I had the deadly swine flu (or some kind of flu) a couple weeks ago. Twas quite the drag. Rest and fluids for you!

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  2. Well, of COURSE the dad is more concerned about the groom rejecting the abused, raped, traumatized daughter. When women get themselves raped, asshole men like to focus on how the womens' rapes affect THEM, not how the rapes affect the women who are raped. How utterly selfish to expect this hypothetical father to think of his daughter's reaction to a violent rape when there's a man to be concerned about! I mean, seriously. Who wants to marry damaged goods?

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  3. Clearly, I need to step up my commenting game around here.

    Sady, I hope you feel better soon! Also please do not actually die from the DEADLY SWINE FLU!, as that would leave us, your adoring fans, quite sad.

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  4. Sady, I'm extremely flattered to be included. BTW I just read your Guardian column about the male-female "happiness gap" and swooned.

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  5. Hope your bout of DEADLY SWINE FLU! goes away soon, Sady.

    Hey - I wonder. If I kept kosher, would it be treyf to go down on my girlfriend if she had swine flu?

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