Friday, October 31, 2008

OMG my BFF Aaron P. Taylor!

You know: Aaron P. Taylor, who did not rape you (although he totally could have, and he thinks you deserved it), is a very sensitive guy. Aaron P. Taylor is an artist who did not rape you; an iconoclast who did not rape you; a thinker of thoughts about raping you (OR NOT), which he selflessly shares with the world. So imagine how hurt Aaron P. Taylor was when his silly little blog post about "How Not To Get a 'Deserved' Raping" got folks all in a huff! I mean, all of these mean Internet people - Jezebel, Shakesville, the Washington City Paper - kept linking to Aaron P. Taylor, and saying mean things about Aaron P. Taylor, and even (gasp!) commenting on Aaron P. Taylor's blog.

Look, Aaron P. Taylor is going to say this ONE TIME, so you all better listen up:
It’s stupid for any woman to believe that she can go through life teasing guy after guy after guy after guy, and not think that at least ONE of them might take what she thinks is a “joking” lil’ tease routine too seriously, to the point where he thinks she’s still “joking” when she says she really doesn’t want sex. If you’re constantly putting yourself in positions or situations where there’s a possibility of something like that happening, it’s only a matter of time before it might eventually happen.
See? Aaron P. Taylor thinks that women who get raped are stupid and bring it upon themselves! Why are people so upset about that? Aaron P. Taylor can't imagine!

Anyway, it's really rough on Aaron P. Taylor when you blog about him. So stop it, OK? Especially you two:
I wasn’t going to even do a rebuttal to this post… but then I found out that other blog sites have been re-posting this article and saying negative things about me personally. (To read some of these sites, you can click, or [this one is pretty sarcastic, but kinda funny].)
Wha... wait a second. Did Aaron P. Taylor just say that I'm funny? Oh, my god, you guys, does this mean that we are destined to be friends... or possibly more? I can imagine running with Aaron P. Taylor through a field of daisies, holding his hand, sharing a cone of ice cream with him... I'd run my fingers through Aaron P. Taylor's pencil-thin douche beard and gaze tenderly into Aaron P. Taylor's non-lazy eye... and all the while, Aaron P. Taylor would be not raping me, unless I accidentally turned him on, in which case he'd pretty much have to... Aaron P. Taylor: imagine me and you! And you, and me! No matter how you toss the dice, it's meant to be!


Ha ha ha, oh, we have fun, don't we? But wait: did I just made a joke about sex with Aaron P. Taylor? Because we all know that "joking" about sex with Aaron P. Taylor means that Aaron P. Taylor will later think you are "joking" when you decline to actually have sex with Aaron P. Taylor. So that means...



  1. Like I said, you are waaaaaay too funny. You should do stand-up comedy or something - you could make a career out of twisting someone's words around and doing a sarcastic comedy routine to it. I'd by tickets!

  2. Oh my god. I just saw your APT post. You are the foremost web expert on Aaron P. Taylor. Please keep us updated.


  3. Love the post, keep it up. Maybe one day that "man" will get a clue

  4. what a douchenozzle. well, at least he's outed himself as such, and now we know who to avoid!

  5. Wow! you really twisted his words around. Lets take your comment:

    "See? Aaron P. Taylor thinks that women who get raped are stupid and bring it upon themselves!"

    Lets compare his comment:

    "It’s stupid for any woman to believe that she can go through life teasing guy after guy after guy after guy..."

    Now lets replace the first word with a more descriptive phase:

    "[The concept is] stupid for any woman to believe that she can go through life teasing guy after guy after guy after guy..."

    He wasn't calling women stupid, just this particular behavior. Men and women have a plethora of traits and habits. Calling one of them stupid (or IMHO unwise), does not flat out call the entire gender stupid.

    Don't forget that the dancing woman started this. She approached HIM and had the audacity to ram her ass in his groin. According to his article, he was dancing alone and she came up to him.

    Secondly, he is not a rapist, he walked away from the situation. He just thought that OTHER men might not be so forgiving. Wow! what a crime, lets lock up Aaron, for thinking that some guy has the POTENTIAL to harm another woman by misreading the flagrant flirtatious behavior (IMHO also extremely classless).

    Aaron clearly does not approve of rape in any way, and you twisting his words to serve a tired argument (women aren't responsible for their behavior), is damaging to telling women that this COULD happen.

    Aaron did the right thing by walking away, he didn't force himself on her, yet you are making him out to be pro-rape.

  6. Oh yes, the NERVE of that woman! Only wanton sluts and trollops dance about and flirt, proper women wait for the MAN to make the advance. She DESERVED to get raped, y'know, but Aaron P. Taylor's just too much of a nice guy for that!
    Oh wait...