My Mom:

A) Enjoyed the sensitive folk-rock hits of the Seventies; also, Stevie Nicks.
B) Tried to raise me as a vegetarian and a person unconfined by traditional gender roles of generations past; was successful on one count.
C) Was really, really pretty. (Still is, in fact!)
D) Bought me this EFFING AWESOME SWIMSUIT.

Um, WHAT? Whoa.

Psychologists, child development specialists, and all concerned with the development of personality, take note: it is twenty-six years later, and I have still not stopped making this face.