Busted, Part 2: The Real Goal of Political Change

Is shopping! At least, that's what Bust tells me today, in their think piece on the Great Obama Dress Scandal of '08:

The modified version of the Narcisco Rodriguez’s dress was showing off her confidence in not being pigeonholed into wearing those lame-ass, boring suit-dresses. We still have ways to go, but I think it’s awesome that powerful women are getting closer to be being on the same playing field as men, but why do they have to dress like them too? We all know that Michelle is incredibly intelligent, successful and naturally gorgeous. She was also the breadwinner of her family! So, peeps needs to chill out on that one outfit and think more about what a bonus she is going to be to the White House. Does every first lady have to be compared to Jackie O’s immaculate style? Don’t forget that Jackie’s era was one of the best decades in fashion.

Oh, Bust: this is so totally not the same type of coverage that I could get from any commercial women's rag on the market. No: pretty dresses are subversive! And so is speaking about a female political figure in a way that is almost entirely focused on her wardrobe, apparently! Wave your feminist flag high, sisters - and put a Louis Vuitton logo on there too, while you're at it.

Seriously, though, why do we have to dress like men, whose clothing is usually well-made, comfortable, durable, and apt to stay in fashion for more than a few months at a time? Why can't we just wear custom-made designer dresses all the time to signify our total fabulousness? Remember when Simone de Beauvoir analyzed women's subjugation in terms of its economic cost, pointing out that a relatively enormous portion of the average female secretary's salary went to clothes, makeup, accessories, and various cosmetic treatments such as hair styling, manicures, and pedicures, without which she would not be considered "fit" to be seen in an office, thereby diminishing her already tiny income and demonstrating that gender roles and capitalism were both involved in keeping women in a socially vulnerable and marginalized position? That was so totally lame. Simone de Beauvoir wasn't even hot, so how could you take her seriously? To the ladies of Bust - I, with my dirty jeans, button-up shirt, and messy hair, salute you, for showing us how real gender equality can be achieved.

You know, for an actual analysis of why Dressgate was regressive, fucktarded, and lame, you could go to Womanist Musings. Of course, Womanist Musings has neither the market share nor the revenue of Bust, but you shouldn't take that to mean that feminism and capitalism are at odds or anything. They are totally not, as Bust demonstrates every day. Now go buy yourself something pretty, cupcake.

Busted.

Hey: do you remember "Girls Say Yes to Boys Who Say No?" You know, the infamous poster/slogan that became a touchstone for the second wave of feminism, insofar as it illuminated the second-class status of women within left-wing activist communities by presenting women as sexual rewards for radical men rather than as people who were themselves working for radical change? Well, good news; now that feminism has succeeded and no-one will ever experience gender discrimination or misogyny ever again, we can bring it back!

It's ironic, you see; you can tell because they are doing nothing to deconstruct or critique the original image, preferring instead to faithfully re-create it with new models and slightly different copy. You've come a long way, baby, but no need to worry - the place you've arrived at looks just like the place you left.

You can probably guess where I found this. Ah, darling BUST: things would be so much easier for you if you admitted that you weren't a feminist magazine any more, and that at some point along the line you transformed into Hipster Cosmo. Really, you don't need to worry about the political coverage; I have far better sources for that. Just show me how to knit a bright pink dildo cozy and keep me up to date with the newest rockabilly looks. It's what you want. It's what you've wanted all along.

Anyway, on November 4th, I'll be doing my part by offering my sexual services to any and every man in my district who promises to vote for the Democratic candidate. RSVP for location. Lines will form; get there early.